Meanwhile, another director on the other side of the pacific was still creating masterpiece after masterpiece in the second dimension. Hayao Miyazaki is a hero of mine, and so bear in mind that this review will be directed entirely from a bias, and I don’t intend to try and hide that. Spirited Away and My Neighbour Totoro are amongst my favourite films ever, whilst the rest of the studios output could hardly be classed as mediocre. The man is a living genius, and the release of one of his films is something that made me salivate with anticipation. Then, here in the UK where the releases of both were delayed, they came out at approximately the same time. So I was in a state of frenzy at the prospect of seeing both The Princess and the Frog and Ponyo. And I left both with that anticipation justified.

I started with Disney’s The Princess and the Frog, directed by masters Clements and Musker, the men behind Aladdin. From the start to the finish, I was in love with this film. It has an energy and joy that is just infectious, and rarely have I left a film smiling as much as I did after this. What Princess does is take classic Disney tropes, use them, lightly poke fun at them and then create something entirely new and brilliant from a tried and tested formula. You’ve heard the plot before, which involves some transmogrification shenanigans, ending up with the two central characters being frogs, befriending a musical crocodile and a cajun firefly. But it is so much more than that.

The characters at first appear to be straight from an old princess film, only this time the princess is a fiesty, likeable waitress who knows the value of hard work. Tiana is engaging throughout, and is a marvellous step up from saps like Cinderella. Forget the fact that she is a black princess – that’s hardly an issue as she spends most of the time green – what’s really a progression for Disney is her actual character and this leading lady is truly someone we can root for. Prince Naveen is also more than just a prince charming, he’s a playboy ukulele player. The comic reliefs – Louis the trumpeting crocodile and Ray the firefly – are perfectly pitched and genuinely funny as well.

But all this is without mentioning the villain. The most terrifying thing since Scar, Keith David’s Dr. Facilier lifts the film whenever he is on screen. Slimy, menacing and hiding a horrifying secret, Facilier is the dark heart of the film, and indeed scenes with him and the mysterious shadow creatures from ‘the other side’ are perhaps too scary for younger children. But as a villain he is an unstoppable force that is an absolute pleasure to watch. It’s just one of the many, many things that is so right about the film, and another reason that Clements and Musker should be praised.

The music of the film has faced some criticism, and while there is nothing to match the timeless songs of the Lion King, the songs are ridiculously catchy, and have a wonderful jazzy feel to them akin to the Jungle Book’s ‘King of the Swingers’. Drafting in Randy Newman to write the songs was an excellent choice, and the film thrums to the beat of the period New Orleans setting. Facilier’s ‘Friends on the Other Side’ does almost rival ‘Be Prepared’, and is even more sinister. It’s one of the ones you’ll be humming once the credits have rolled. My personal favourite, however, is ‘Dig A Little Deeper’, sung by the brilliant Mama Odie. This is the song that will enter the pantheon of all time Disney Greats. It’s magnificent.

The whole film is just so full of a happiness that is hard to quell, and I can’t wait to revisit Disney’s vision of a classic fairy tale again. If there is any justice in the world (which there isn’t) this will win the best animated Oscar.

Yet the biggest crime of the Academy awards this year was the total absence of Ponyo. Perhaps it’s a little too trippy for the academy’s tastes. Maybe it’s just too foreign. Either way, it’s a crime that it didn’t make the shortlist. The clearest thing on show in Miyazaki’s film is the director’s thrilling, vivid imagination. It sets the screen ablaze with vibrant imaginings of an underwater kingdom, or a wall of water that is dragging ships towards it. His worlds are always awash with invention, and Ponyo is no different.

It’s most similar in tone to My Neighbour Totoro, in that it is a loosely plotted ramble through childhood, with an almost unbearably cute lead. Ponyo is an endearing character, even when voiced by Miley Cyrus’ sister. The joy she expresses when seeing things above the water for the first time is palpable, and you can’t help but smile with her. As a new human, she is a hilarious little creature, running round with a lamp, or helping a little baby with a cold. As the 5 year old ‘romantic interest’, Sosuke is equally engaging and fun, whilst his mother (voiced decently by Tina Fey) is believable in everything except her driving ability.

I put romantic interest in inverted commas, because that is not what Ponyo is about. The love seen here is more to do with affection, familial bonds and responsibility. As the absent father breaks promises to his family, Sosuke feels an equal burden to look after Ponyo. It’s dealt with so subtly and beautifully, you know you are watching a master at work. Whilst it may not have the energy of Princess, there is still huge amounts to enjoy in this meandering look at childhood. It’s not Miyazaki’s finest hour, but this director is so good that even films that are in the middle of the list of his best films, its still twice as inventive or heartfelt as the majority of what the multiplexes churn out. The song at the end, however, is terrible.

And it goes without saying that the animation in both of these films is phenomenal. The swamps of the bayou thrive with life in Princess, and the sea is given a character as important as anyone else in Ponyo. When films as good as these are released, it really is dumbfounding why the market relies so much on CG. Their gloss is shown up to be hollowness next to these two. So 2D animation has made a glorious return to our screens, and has done so with such joy and brilliance that I can only hope it is here to stay. But then again, I was bound to say that.

The way the film creates atmosphere is actually one of it’s strongest points. There are moments in the film of true Gothic splendour, and Johnston has absolutely nailed the eery aesthetic. By muting the colours to an almost monochromatic palette, Wolfman looks and feels like the black and white films it is homaging. It’s to the director’s credit that this monster-pic is not as ugly as Universal’s previous horror re-boot Van Helsing.

However, beyond the beauty of the mansion and the moors, the film is a rather tepid series of clichés that, whilst diverting, never quite grips in the way it should. We have the grizzled old men in the bar spouting theories on the beast in the woods, and lone men wandering with torches only to swiftly disappear in a blur of black. There doesn’t feel to be anything truly original here. The result is that the action, whilst well staged, gets dull rather quickly. It does have moments of fantastic entertainment (SPOILER: A werewolf Anthony Hopkins on fire) yet it fails to consistently thrill.

This is also down to the performances. Del Toro is admirably restrained yet too often just seems bored, and Emily Blunt isn’t given much to work with. Anthony Hopkins, meanwhile, seems to flit between accents randomly, which is rather distracting from an otherwise completely bonkers, ambiguous character. The film, however, is worth seeing for Hugo Weaving alone, who is just brilliant as Abberline, the Scotland Yard detective who is called in to deal with the case. His deadpan cool as he argues with a bar owner is just one of the high points of an excellent performance.

So The Wolfman isn’t quite the glorious return to the days of classic Horror that universal were hoping for. It’s entertaining enough and it looks great, but a clunky script, old clichés and a reticent central character mean that it never quite transforms into the beast it should have been.



http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article7013978.ece

For those of you that can’t be bothered to read the full article, I’ll give you a short summary. A farmer decided he wanted to do some building work, and create a castle. Only, the United Kingdom hates innovation* and has a system in place for destroying interesting architectural ideas. It’s called planning permission. You can’t make a sand castle without someone from the local council coming round to tell you it breaks several different conventions and laws. It’s a whole load of bureaucracy that no one likes to fill out, particularly for fear of rejection. So this farmer, Mr Fidler, decided to… avoid it. He built a huge pile of hay bales, and from within these hay bales he constructed a castle. No seriously. Check out the link for pictures. He made a castle, underneath a stack of bales. Genius. And he was aware of a loop hole in the law that states that planning permission can’t pull down  building if it has been up for over four years. Or something like that. So he lived in this castle, under the hay, for four years and recently removed the bales, thinking he would now be immune.

Only he wasn’t. Planning permission obviously got ticked off by this, and so in a court case have fought to have this castle knocked down. They have found a loophole within the loophole, and are claiming that the removal of the bales was part of the construction, therefore construction had not been finished for four years, therefore they could pull it down. Fidler lost the case. The castle is going to come down.

Now whilst I do not advocate breaking the law, I am entirely on Fidler’s side here. He has fought a crippling, oppressive system of bureaucracy and has come out on top with a rather pretty little castle. It isn’t ostentatious or ugly. It’s in the middle of a field. No one objected to it. By my reckoning, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Not only that, but he has shown a certain amount of ingenuity in building this, and maybe that should be rewarded. But what is really irritating about this whole story is how anally retentive the planning regs people are being. Surely they should just give him an angry glare, send him a warning, and then leave him to live in his castle. But no. They fight him in court, insisting that the building be brought down. How joyless and uptight does someone have to be to do that? I mean, how soul-destroyingly boring must this jobsworth be, to be so determined to bring this castle down, that you take the farmer to court, launch a case against him and then find a ridiculous, minor thing such as removing the bales in order to make sure that the glorious council have their way? It’s depressing, isn’t it?

Sadly, there is nothing we can do about it. We cannot fight the system. The building must come down, the black-hearted people at the council must win. Yet I will ask you all to take a moment’s silence to remember not only this farmer’s courage, but also to remember what was once a great nation, Britain, that has been brought low by paper, forms and red tape. Britannia, RIP.

*This article may feature certain exaggerations…

Thankfully, saving Precious from being a totally miserable affair are a series of brilliant performances. Mo’Nique is the one that everyone is talking about, and she seems unstoppable on her way to win an Oscar. Yet that is probably because she is the most obviously ‘oscar’ performance in the whole thing. Her monologue at the end will undoubtedly be played over and over again come March 7th. But Precious should be remembered for introducing Gabourey Sidibe, who is brilliant in what could have been simply reduced to a victim role. The look in her eyes, her posture, her voice: it all means that she is entirely believable, and that we smile when she smiles, and cry when she cries. Sadly Sandra Bullock already has a space on her mantelpiece spared for her inevitable Oscar, yet Sidibe deserves it more.

Yet perhaps the most plaudits should go to the least expected recipient. Mariah Carey only has a small role, yet she makes the most of it, and is so good that maybe the film world can let her forget that she was ever in Glitter. As Precious tells her ‘You can’t deal with this,’ we believe her entirely, and that is all thanks to Carey’s stunning, selfless performance.

So in short, Precious is a film where some great actresses deliver performances that are better than the film itself. It isn’t deserving of all the hype surrounding it, but most films rarely do. You may also leave wondering what the point of it all was.

The work of Terence Malick is certainly an acquired taste. To some it may be dull, pretentious and far too slow. For others it’s captivating, beautiful, and probably a bit too slow. Having seen three of his four films, I stand firmly in the latter category. Days of Heaven is not so much a film, more of an ode to nature, a testament to the beauty of America and a deep, involving study of love. All of which either adds up to a mesmerising experience, or a butt-numbing one.
It tells the story, in a rather roundabout way, of two lovers, Bill (Richard Gere) and Abby (Brooke Adams) posing as brother and sister, and the Bill’s little sister, Linda (Linda Manz), who follows them as they find work in the fields of the USA. But problems arise when the farmer they are working for (Sam Shepard) falls for Abby, thinking her only to be the sister of the Bill. Bill thinks the farmer is dying, so persuades Abby to marry him to gain the fortune. It’s a fairly simple plot, but as opposed to the even looser The New World, it’s reasonably compelling, especially come the climax. Naturally it’s downplayed to the extreme but enough happens to actually make you feel for the characters.

The main character (excluding nature), despite the billing, is actually Linda. An exceptionally mature performance elevates her character from a girl with an irritating, whiny voice, to a hugely sympathetic, profound and intelligent leading lady that is the drive behind the whole story. Leading the story onwards with a thoughtful, literary narrative, we see the world through the eyes of a child. She makes observations on the situation that surpass her years, making her a slightly odd but irrepressibly likeable protagonist. It’s easily the strongest aspect of the plot, but that does nothing to detract from the main theme of the love triangle. Gere and Adams are attractive leads with not much to do, yet still manage say so much through a lingering touch, or a longing glance. Sam Shepard (recently seen looking a lot older as Frank James, Jesse’s brother) is the standout of the three. His is an agonising, heartbreaking that clearly expresses exactly who the victim of the whole plot is. As biblical judgement is wreaked on his farm, and he begins to realise the motives of the whole sorry story, anyone who doesn’t feel sorry for him should probably check in with a psychiatrist. It’s a marvellous performance.

But in spite of the surprisingly gripping story with slow building tension, and an array of strong actors, that’s not really why anyone would watch Days of Heaven. It’s quite clearly for the cinematography, and if you go into the film expecting this then you will not be disappointed. Terence Malick is truly a master of the landscape, finding beauty everywhere he points his camera. Well, with the obvious help of cinematographer Nestor Almendros. You can feel the sense of awe the two of them have for what it is they are filming. Nothing is taken lightly here – it took Malick a year to film it, and this dedication pays off remarkably. Rarely has a film been so beautiful, or something as simple as a field of wheat been so lovingly portrayed. Not only this, but it is accompanied by a haunting score from the master composer Ennio Morricone. It’s almost as if they were trying to test the limits of how much splendour and elegance they could cram into one film.

It’s really not to everyone’s tastes, but for those who enjoy a slow burning plot playing second fiddle to the landscape it takes place in, then this is quite simply one of the most magisterial, moving and beautiful films ever made.

In Short: Sublime.

*well, you don’t have to.

And so the Globes have kicked off the awards season, bringing with it a couple of surprises. The Hangover can now release a DVD with “Golden Globe Winner” emblazoned above it, as can Sherlock Holmes. These two unconventional award winners were the only real shocks of the night, as the rest were not exactly taxing to guess. Despite some evident emotion, you could see that Meryl Streep was beginning to get a little bored with all the mantelpiece extensions she keeps needing, and Jeff Bridges was this year’s Mickey Rourke in terms of older actor playing a grizzled nostalgic trying to reconnect.

And it was with a certain sickening inevitably that Avatar hurtled towards its best picture Globe. It’s not that I didn’t like Avatar. I’ve seen it twice now, and I stand by my opinion that it is audacious, beautiful filmmaking from a master. But I just didn’t feel it deserved it. Cameron had an astronomical budget to play around with, and state of the art effects. He could have farted at the screen and it still would have looked amazing. Whereas films like Precious and Up in the Air have done a lot more relative to what they had to work with. It’s extremely difficult for younger, brighter filmmakers to get ahead if the biggest budget, biggest profit films scoop up all the major awards. It would have made more sense to me to award it to someone like Lee Daniels who is obviously ready to take the film world by storm, rather than giving it to someone who already has. Avatar isn’t even Cameron’s best film – Aliens has that title.

There is possibly a reason for this though. Three of the contenders for Best Drama were all relevant dramas that very much fit in with the here and now. Precious is a searing social commentary, Up in the Air a tragicomic look at 21st century life and The Hurt Locker addresses an ongoing war that many would rather forget is happening. Perhaps the HFPA found it a little too uncomfortable to be reminded of the world they live in, so they opted for an admittedly glorious piece of escapism. Yet I can’t help but hope that Oscar will be brave and go for something different.

And this is all without mentioning the criminal loss of Michael Stuhlbarg, who should win any award going for a Serious Man.

Here’s the list of winners for films. For an opinion on TV, find another blog!

Best Motion Picture – Drama
Avatar

Best Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical
The Hangover

Best Animated Feature Film
Up

Best Foreign Film
The White Ribbon

Best Actor, Motion Picture – Drama
Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart

Best Actress, Motion Picture – Drama
Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side

Best Actor, Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical
Robert Downey Jr, Sherlock Holmes

Best Actress,  Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical
Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

Best Supporting Actor, Motion Picture
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

Best Supporting Actress, Motion Picture
Mo’Nique, Precious

Best Director, Motion Picture
James Cameron, Avatar

Best Screenplay, Motion Picture
Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner, Up In The Air

Best Original Song, Motion Picture
T Bone Burnett, ‘The Weary Kind’,  Crazy Heart

Best Original Score, Motion Picture
Michael Giacchino, Up

Cecil B DeMille Award
Martin Scorsese

1. Michael Jackson will amaze everyone with ‘the comeback tour of the millennium’ as it turns out he isn’t actually dead, but hanging out with Elvis in a Lithuanian mansion. Elvis, meanwhile, also attempts a comeback, but crippling arthritis means that he moves like Indiana Jones fighting aliens, and no one watches.
2. A miracle cure-all is discovered that vanquishes every known disease.
3. 317 more diseases are discovered. All incurable.
4. New Moon wins 13 Oscars, breaking all records. It later transpires that the academy voters were paid off by a bunch of hormonal teenage girls, Mormons and desperate middle-aged women. This is dubbed, rather lazily, as ‘Moongate’.
5. Terence Malick’s next film will come out. 3 people will watch it.
6. Global Warming is discovered to be false. This is then refuted. This refutation is refuted. This next refutation is discovered to be only partially correct. It then turns out it was all started as a rumour by a 16-year-old on the internet. This is dubbed, even more lazily, as ‘Warminggate’. A writer at The Sun gets a pay rise.
7. This blog will gain astronomical views, becoming bigger than Wikipedia, Facebook and Google combined in terms of site activity. I will fail to notice.
8. Arnold Schwarzenegger is revealed to be a cyborg created by Barack Obama. They both win prizes for this. When Obama is asked why he did this, he just smiled and everyone cheered.
9. A Romanian peasant stumbles across huge gold deposits underneath his village, they all become ridiculously rich and Romania rises as a superpower to rival China. An obscure cult in Utah claims they saw it coming, and this is why you should pay them lots of money and why they should be allowed ten wives each. Tom Cruise joins.
10. CERN’s Large Hadron Collider goes horribly wrong and causes a black hole that envelopes all of europe, but due to Hollywood science only causes a Zombie apocalypse in the states. Roland Emmerich makes a film out of it, calling it 2010. Meanwhile, God wins a smug victory over the atheists as the smoking remains of europe simply spell out ‘I Told You So’.

So there it is, the facts of the coming year. I know it to be scientifically true as recently a star rock fell from heaven with these truths engraved on it, signed by Xenu. I carbon dated it with my Home Chemistry Set Jr.!, which revealed the date of origin to be tomorrow. It was then natural to see that the alignment of Mars and Mercury*** had been right all along. See?

That, and my cousin told me so.

* Not actually, in any way, shape or form, fact.

**Not even close to an entirety.

***Not only that, but anyone born in March should be open to romance this month.

Most people probably missed Sam Mendes’ little road trip-cum-romance that was released in the same month as big sci-fi events such as District 9 and GI Joe and comedy successes [500] Days of Summer and Funny People. So it would be easy to have forgotten all about this little film. But the fact that it was largely overlooked does not mean that it didn’t deserve a greater audience. It’s a hilarious, poignant look at family that is almost unique in its study of a relationship in which the central characters are very much in love and not much that will change that.

It tells the story of a couple, Burt and Verona (Maya Rudolph and John Krasinski), who find out they are having a baby and decide to look for somewhere else to live. We follow Burt and Verona as they visit friends around North America who each have kids of their own, and try and learn about parenting from the eccentrics that they call friends. It’s a simple premise, yet one that is ripe with potential for humour and emotion. Krasinki is brilliant as Burt, a loveable guy that is frequently bemused, yet so obviously filled with affection for his partner that it’s really rather touching. Yet Rudolph, criminally unknown in the UK, gives such a mesmerising, heartfelt performance as the quiet Verona that whilst many of the people they meet along the way are more than a little bit crazy, we have a solid anchor in her very real protagonist.

Funny, sad, joyous, provoking and sweet all at the same time, Away We Go is the film of the year for me, and maybe even the indie of the decade.

2. Avatar

About as far removed from Away We Go as you can get, Avatar is a big, bold sci-fi that really has to be seen in 3D on the big screen. As a film it’s flawed, but as an experience it’s unparalleled. Extra credit should go to Zoe Saldana, who totally inhabits the role of Na’Vi princess Neytiri. Her performance makes it so that the natives trascend from being simply blue humans to an entirely different species altogether. It’s not to everyone’s tastes, but it really is something totally new.

3. Up

To say that Up is one of Pixar’s finest films is to say quite a lot. The Production Company that brought us Toy Story and Monsters, Inc. has a lot of work to do to impress us once again. Yet somehow they pull it off, and this is an audacious, thrilling and hilarious film. The 3D here is unnecessary, it’s the story that counts. The first five minutes are the finest you’ll see in a film this year, and the rest of the film is equally enthralling. Plus, how many children’s films have two geriatrics battling it out in spite of arthritis, with bones frequently clicking so that it’s one of the slowest, most hilarious climactic battles ever? A sweet, unmissable family film that should, if all is right with this world, earn Pixar a best picture nomination.

4. A Serious Man

Burn After Reading was a vacuous, impersonal and lazy film from a directing pair that really should know better. Thank goodness then for A Serious Man, a perfectly crafted story that is intimate, funny and features a phenomenal performance by the relative unknown Michael Stuhlbarg. After Reading’s method of ‘throw as many famous people at the screen and see what works,’ it’s refreshing to see a film whose most famous actor was the hypochondriac in Scrubs. This means that the cast, setting and story feel very real, even as the situation spirals out of control. You don’t know why a seemingly nice guy is being subjected to a series of unfortunate events, and you feel his pain as he is being patronised by his wife’s new partner. Yet you cannot help but laugh. And that is what makes this film so great: you wince, cry and laugh for the whole duration, and often all at the same time. Plus, the final shot alone is worth the ticket price.

5. Let The Right One In

Sadly one of only two non-English language films in the list (any 2009 recommendations would be welcome), this Swedish chiller is a masterpiece in subtle horror. Set in the grim, cold wastelands of Stockholm’s suburbs in the 70’s, this is the story a bullied boy, Oskar, who befriends another loner, the vampire Eli. This friendship takes centre stage, leaving the quietly effective horror moments in the background. Instead of blood and gore we are shown the confused romantic feelings of Oskar, his intimacy with Eli and how this is played out to beautiful, devastating effect. Featuring two incredible performances from the child leads, this is a film that should not be missed. Watch it before the American remake is released and ruins it.

6. Slumdog Millionaire

Now that it’s won approximately a gazillion Oscars, it doesn’t feel like Slumdog was only released this year. It also means it’s easy to forget exactly how good this film is. The frenetic, kinetic cinematography brings the slums of Mumbai to life, and whilst it may be a little too escapist considering the very real poverty that exists there, it’s impossible not to be swept along with the joy and vigour of Danny Boyle’s Indian fable.

7. Where the Wild Things Are

So indie it hurts, Spike Jonze’s touching adaptation of the children’s classic brings the monsters and imagination of childhood to life in a unique, adult way. The Wild Things are a neurotic bunch – children trapped inside big, strong bodies – and the story of how young Max learns about life with each of them makes for an elegiac, elegant tale that every adult can enjoy.

8. District 9

A barnstorming debut for Neil Blomkamp, and an astonishing performance from Sharlto Copley, this intelligent, original sci-fi packs in action and ideas, and all that on a meagre budget as well.

9. Zombieland

Surely the funniest film of the year, (Away We Go was possibly more restrained, A Serious Man more, well, serious) this is the American Shaun of the Dead. Jesse Eisenberg is brilliant as the awkward hero, Emma Stone is pretty and gutsy as the romantic interest and Abigail Breslin is at her best since Little Miss Sunshine. Yet the highlight of the film is Woody Harrelson as Tallahassee, a gun-toting, Twinkie-loving zombie killer that is 10 kinds of awesome. Kicking ass all over the place, these four ensure that we actually like the characters that are running away from the zombies, and means that this is elevated above most of the comedy dross that is released on a monthly basis. I can’t wait to return to Zombieland.

10. The Good, The Bad, The Weird

The Koreans show pretenders such as The Mummy and National Treasure exactly how zany action is done in this wild, unstoppable beast of a film. Basically a Western set in China, Kim Ji-Woon’s homage to the spaghetti western is wall to wall entertainment, and contains a good deal more action than the Sergio Leone film the title is ripping off. Sure it may drag on a bit too long, but this crazy film is sure to please anyone that is a fan of Westerns, or Indiana Jones, or even Jackie Chan films. A useful reminder of how fun films should be.

And The Worst:

Twilight Saga: New Moon

Words can’t quite describe how reprehensible this film is. Pandering slavishly to the hormonal girls with no taste that made this series popular, New Moon has next to no artistic value. As hollow as its characters, this is a morose, dull affair with nothing whatsoever to keep you entertained until right at the very end when you are entreated to the guessing game of why Michael Sheen agreed to be in this film for so little screen time.

Still to be seen:

Moon

I’ve only heard good things about Duncan Jones’ low budget, high concept lunar thriller. Finally out on DVD, I can’t wait to check out Sam Rockwell arguing with himself.

The Hurt Locker

Now with a golden globe nomination, this is turning out to be a serious contender come awards season. I’m particularly looking forward to seeing James Cameron on the red carpet with his ex, Kathryn Bigelow.

*As released in the UK, 2009

Pandora is stunning, a mass of life and colour that seeps from the screen into your consciousness. You become part of the landscape, following the Na’vi through a terrain thick with undergrowth and bizarre animals. When Sully is exploring the planet, particularly at night, it is difficult not to be filled with a sense of wonder at the majesty and intimacy of this world. It is at once grandiose and personal, epic yet immersive. But what is most astounding is how real it feels. It’s almost as if you can reach out and touch the strange, glowing flora, and taste the clear water of the rivers. It shows films such as 300 up to be the overly stylised computer gunk that it was. This is entirely crafted on a computer, yet you barely notice it at all.

And the Na’vi, the indiginous population of Pandora, are just as alive and beautiful as the world they inhabit. This is once again thanks to remarkable effects, yet also to some of the finest performances of the year. A lot will no doubt be said of Worthington, but while he is strong enough to inhabit the role, he is the least charismatic and believable of the lot. Zoe Saldana is simply unforgettable as the princess Neytiri. She completely inhabits the role, so that she transcends from being merely a blue pocahontas to something entirely different. You never once think that she is just a strangely tall, coloured human with a tail. This is true for all of the glistening natives, and it is indeed some acheivement that you can see individual features and characteristics in each one out of the hundreds of them. Oh brave new world that has such people in it.

And whilst a fair portion of the time is spent simply enjoying this world, with a powerful, if predictable, love story as it’s beating heart, we are also treated to the best action sequences of the year. The final battle for Pandora is a no-holds-barred, exhilarating battle that, put simply, puts Ewoks and Emmerich to shame. This is destruction with added elan. You care for the people, and the places. It’s exhilarating, breathless and often heart-stopping.  The fact that it was all staged in a big warehouse makes it even more impressive. Mind-blowing, in fact. It sets the standard for sci-fi action in the future, and is not something you will want to miss.

Yet for every Cameron fan that will fall in love with this film, there is undoubtedly a cynic out there who will mock it mercilessly. Avatar frequently features the type of dialogue that will either make you either wince or laugh, and some of the hokum spirituality is bound to be ripped to shreds by those that hated the film before they’d even seen it. How much you enjoy this film may well depend on how well you can swallow a bunch of 9ft blue guys swaying in unison round a mystical tree. I personally see it as just adding another layer to the entirely believable mythology and history of the Na’vi. You may well see it as a little bit, well, stupid. Not only that, but Cameron maintains his reputation for horrifically cringey sex scenes. No, James, no one wants to see that.

And all this talk of it being a revolutionary film that will change cinema… well I hope not. Avatar works as an unforgettable cinematic experience, and one that everyone should try out at least once. But it won’t work in the comfort of your own home, as this is an event that is perfect for the big screen. Plus, having recently seen small gems such as A Serious Man and Where the Wild Things Are, this is the type of film that should be confined to big tentpole events, not the cinematic standard.

So in essence this is a film that is the new Titanic. It’s going to divide in a way that only Cameron can – some will fall in love, others may be tempted to vomit. Yet I am most definitely, without a doubt, in the former camp. Avatar is astonishing, and will take you to another world in a way that no other film can. In the rather blunt words of Jake Sully, “This is great.”

The main problem, without a doubt, is the music. This time the songs (mostly) are tailored to fit in with the plot, but as a result, they are crow-barred in and feel totally redundant. You are unlikely to hear anyone starting a rendition of Sugar Lumps any time soon. It’s so uninspired you can’t help but feel let down. There are some great ones, such as the Billy Joel-esque description of Brett meeting a beautiful woman. That one might rouse a group of Conchordians to sing along, but it’s no, well, anything from series one. Perhaps it’s just suffering by comparison, but it’s so frequently unfunny that you’ve got to wonder what they were thinking. Flight of the Conchords worked so well because it was fresh, original and the songs were funny and memorable. But here you can sense that the writing team were rushing things out. It just gets dull as they stroll out yet another quirky song.

It’s not entirely without merit. In fact it really picks up the pace towards the end as the Prime Minister of New Zealand is introduced. The ‘Simon and Garfunkel’ episode is brilliant if you forget the rock song shoved into the middle of it. It’s got some of the show’s best jokes and has the biggest laugh of the series at the end. Not only that, the visuals in this series are astounding, with the talents of Michel Gondry (bringing out his distinctive Science of Sleep style) and Taika Waititi (whose episodes are strongest and much better than his film Eagle vs. Shark) bringing in much needed verve and colour to the proceedings. We get seas of bedsheets, freaky costumes and bizarre dreamscapes. And all this without mentioning Rhys Darby who is simply genius, and remains the best thing about the series. As their manager Murray, his dim-witted presence makes this worth watching just for him.

So it’s not a total failure then. Yet to anyone familiar with S1 or the Conchords’ stand up work, this feels so second-rate. It’s as if they aren’t trying. Thankfully for us, the ending seems fairly conclusive so this could be the end of the Conchords’ TV adventure.